In-mem fundraising at a distance

Keeping their memory alive (part two)

This blog is based on a workshop I gave at the Hospice Income Generation Network 2024 Conference. It focuses on advice for hospice fundraisers, but I believe the principles can be applied to in-memory fundraising for any cause.

This is a two-part blog. You can read Part One here. In Part Two, I am going into more detail on time-lines and how to build relationships at a distance.

A timeline for relationship building

Building a relationship starts with the first interaction someone has with your hospice – this could be months or even years before our loved one dies. But since this session is focusing on in-mem donors, I have started this timeline from the funeral.

After the funeral

• Make it easy for us to ask for donations to the hospice if we mention that - offer practical support e.g. Gift Aid envelopes for collection, wording for the Order of Service

• Attend the funeral if you can, I didn’t realise before my parents died how much it means to the family to show up at the funeral.

• If you can’t attend, hold a commemoration at the same time for staff and let us know about it. It means the world to know that the people who cared for our loved one in their final days are marking their death.

During the first month after they died

• Share helpful resources about grief admin – there is so much to do and it can be very overwhelming, particularly the first time through.

• Offer grief counselling – make sure that there is follow-through.

• Signpost relevant grief support groups – tailored recommendations e.g. Young and Widowed, Young Orphans, Let’s Talk about Loss (young people), sibling support groups etc. Make sure you know what’s available and share relevant recommendations.

Six months in

Honestly, the first six months of grief are a blur. Don’t assume that we were able to act on or even take in anything you shared at first – share it again! Some grief counselling services recommend waiting at least six months after a death before starting, so follow up on the offer of support.

• Share grief support resources again.

• Follow up on offer of grief counselling.

First anniversary

• Send a card

• Write an online tribute

• Share an impact update about donations made during the year

In subsequent years, keep up with personalised touch points. Don’t worry about upsetting us by sending an email on the death anniversary – there’s no chance that we are not aware of it.

Significant milestones like birthdays (mine and theirs), Mother’s Day and Father’s Day, the anniversary of diagnosis, and of death are all days that remind me of my parents. Friends and family will send me a message of support, a text to let me know they’re thinking of me. You can do that too, signpost to counselling services, let me know that the hospice team remember my Dad and are thinking of him on his anniversary.

Building relationships at a distance

There is a challenge for hospices as hyper local charities to engage with family members who live far away. You’re missing out on a significant proportion of potential loyal and committed in-mem donors if you don’t put time and effort into engaging with us at a distance.

• Provide online grief support groups – offering a weekly coffee morning is wonderful for local relatives, but if we live elsewhere this won’t be possible. Since Covid lockdowns, many people feel much more comfortable with online meetings and groups.

• Give plenty of notice for events – we might travel specially if we can plan in enough time.

• Set up fundraising challenges that can be completed anywhere – don’t make it an afterthought or add-on. Put real time and effort into making virtual challenges or virtual event components that make us feel just as excited to take part as if we were there in person.

• Offer to include our loved ones at memorial events – if you have candles at a carol service, or leaves on a memory tree, or banners at a hike, why not ask if we would like our loved one included even if we can’t attend?

For more tips like this, read my blog about 5 things I learned about in-memory fundraising while my dad was dying in a hospice.

Do you or your team need training on in-memory fundraising? Do you want support drawing up an in-memory fundraising strategy? Drop us a line on hello@rootsandwings.org for a free no-obligation chat about how we can help.